The two major causes of unhappiness in marriage are sex and money.

Sex will no longer be a problem to those who follow carefully the rules in our earlier chapters. And luckily, money problems can be solved just as easily. Learn these simple directions and you will laugh at money worries.

"WHO SHOULD HANDLE THE MONEY IN OUR HOME?"

Many men ask us: "Should I handle the money in our home?" It is not a question that can be answered with a simple yes or no.

First let us establish some principles:

1. Women have no interest in money itself. Matters of finance confuse and bore them. They are interested only in the things money can buy.

2. Women are penny wise and pound foolish. They do not think it extravagant, for example, to keep a baby sitter two extra hours at seventy-five cents an hour while they shop around to save fifty cents.

3. Women will accept responsibility only if it is thrust upon them. Thrust it properly, however, and they may surprise you.

Returning to our question, then, it is safe to state this primary rule:

The wife should be allowed to handle the money as long as there isn't quite enough to go around.

This means that your marriage will probably fall into two sharply denned financial periods.

THE EARLY OR LOW-MONEY PERIOD

During this stage it is best to be as open-handed as pos­sible. Give her your pay check.

"It's all yours, pet, every cent! Just holding out enough for carfare and cigarettes."

"But Davie, we're going into the hole five dollars a week as it is!"

"I'll leave it all up to you, Phoeb! You're the treas­urer!"

If at first she shies away from this responsibility, you must thrust it upon her. In every marriage one partner must worry about money. During this period make sure she is the one.

Instill this early. Establish yourself as an open-hearted boy, lovable but slightly irresponsible.

"Let me go to the grocery store, Phoeb!" "Are you feeling all right, David?" "Just give me the shopping list—and the money, of course." -

"Be careful, dear, it's our last seven dollars." "You know me, pet, I'll squeeze every nickel!"

Come back half an hour later with a huge box of long-stemmed roses. And a jar of peanut butter.

"For you, princess! Couldn't resist them! They reached out and grabbed me with their thorny little hands!"

"Oh, Davie, how sweet!"

(Let her have her moment of ecstasy.)

"And I brought you this, too!"

(Give her the peanut butter.)

"David, how much were the roses?"

"Too much! Six fifty, to be exact! But they were worth it!"

Four or five days of peanut butter sandwiches will do her no harm, and they will teach her a valuable lesson. She will be learning about money.

If you need to keep your strength during this period, eat hearty lunches on the expense account.

Soon she will become a good manager.

THE LATER, MORE LAVISH YEARS

Later on, when money is more plentiful, it should always be handled by the husband. At this stage be careful to establish the difference between petty cash, which will still be her province, and Money, which is yours. There are several good ways to bring this off.

Be an Investor

You must either be an investor, or seem to be one.

Make it clear that money works for you, and makes more money. This in itself is a concept that baffles most women, and will baffle your wife. Keep her baffled. If you are totally ignorant of finance, spend five minutes with a broker. He will give you enough terms to last you a life­time.

"But Davie, what about the food money?"

"You'll get it, Phoeb. Temporarily strapped by these long-term debentures."

"The what?"

"Debentures, pet. I could sell them, but it would put us in a short term category."

"I don't mind, David. Let's be in a. short term cate­gory for a while, whatever it is."

(The girl with spirit will struggle a bit.)

"You're sweet." (Pat her on the head.) "It'd put us in an impossible tax situation. Might wipe out every­thing."

She will be happy, secure in the knowledge that your affairs are in good hands. And of course you will have control of all the real money. Give her enough to set a good table, though. A well-nourished wife is a healthy, hard-working wife.

Remember Your Taxes

The married man, like all men, must pay taxes. Un­pleasant though this may be, you will find that taxes give you another clear mandate to handle the big money.

The amount you actually pay is of small importance, compared with what you seem to pay.

"Now about money, David. Don't tell me you bought some new debentures, or something. We've got plenty of debentures. What we need is—"

"Phoeb, I wish I could invest some more, but I can't. Just this morning I sent off a tax check. Cleaned us out, utterly!"

"You did that last week."

"That was the third installment on the State Income Tax. This is the amended declaration on the Estimated Federal, and—"

"I thought that was the week before."

"No, pet, that was City—the sewer rental and water tax and the compensating use tax."

It is safe to assume that no woman can ever understand your entire tax situation. You will scarcely understand it yourself.

What About Charge Accounts ?

Many ask, "How can I avoid letting my wife have charge accounts?" This is a sefish point of view. The answer of, course is—let her have them!

A charge account at the hardware store, the meat market and the grocery can do little harm, will reduce unnecessary handling of cash, and will make it easier to return unwanted merchandise. It is primarily accounts at clothing stores that are really dangerous. We will cover this situation in the next chapter.

Avoid the Joint Checking Account

Make your wife self-reliant. Let her have her own checking account, with a small controllable balance. Do not let her participate jointly in the big account or things will soon get out of hand.

If she insists, let her use the big account for a trial period. During this time conduct a few simple financial manipulations.

"David, the Parisian Boutique said my check wasn't any good!"

"Oh?"

(Pretend innocence and shocked surprise.)

"And so did the Bettie Jane Shoppe."

"Thought I left a few dollars in the account. Did withdraw a thousand to cover the Continental Com­mon."

"But there was only a thousand and three dollars in it!"

"Really? Must have slipped my mind. I'll fix it up after the first of the month."

A few lessons like this and she'll be a new woman, happy to have a small account of her own.

MONEY ISN'T EVERYTHING

Though it is important, as we have seen, to maintain a certain vigilance in matters of finance, the wise husband realizes that money isn't everything.

Pin these words in your wallet: If you have money, get the most out of it. If you do not, let your wife get the most out of it.
The two of you, striding together, will march ahead— free of money worries—to a fuller, more joyful life.

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