You may feel, once you have properly trained your mother, that you have no further need to worry about the female world. Unfortunately this is not true.

However, for the next ten years or so, girls of your own age should be completely beneath your notice.

True, your first sight of the schoolyard, filled with laughing girls, will terrify you. This feeling will last for several years—unless you remember this simple fact: males are afraid of females only at the time when females can do them no damage whatever, which is when the males are in short pants. This is no doubt some simple instinct of nature, and should be disregarded entirely.

SET YOUR SIGHTS HIGH

Devote much of your attention during this period to the playing fields. You will be building the fine physique that will be so valuable in later years.

But indoors, remember that your first exercises as a human male have begun.

Concentrate entirely on mature women and begin prac­ticing the masculine charm which will later become sec­ond nature to you. The lad who learns how to charm women while still in short pants will have few worries in the trying years to come.

BE A LITTLE BOY

Though your object will be to charm the fully grown female, you will succeed best by being a little boy.

This is effective even when you are a little boy, and later, when you are not, it will still be good. Thus it is important not only to seem as little as possible, but to remember how you did it.

It is not as simple as it seems. For example, one of the best ways to seem little is to pretend to be big.

"See how big I am, Miss Jones?" "My goodness, you are big, Davie!" "Feel my muscle!"

(Do not harden the muscle fully in these demonstra­tions. No use revealing your true strength.)

You will soon discover that actual size has nothing to do with it. Women prefer tall men and small boys—and they are happiest of all when they find a male who is both at the same time.

BE UNBUTTONED

This is closely related but subtly different. Being unbut­toned is an attitude, and can be assumed by expert boys with every button firmly buttoned.

Women, you will soon learn, have a fetish for neatness in everything but human males. They fidget to see a lit­tered desk or a cluttered living room, but they have a weakness for men who look tousled and unbuttoned.

You must learn, while you are still portable, to be an island of confusion in a sea of tidiness. A smudge on the knee, a smear of lipstick on the forehead, or shoes on the wrong feet—these are all good.

Women prefer tall men and small boys—and are happiest of all when they find a male who is both at the same time.

The real expert, however, can assume an unbuttoned expression without disturbing a hair. This takes practice, but will be most useful in later years.

BE INCOMPETENT

Women will always like you more for what they do for you than for what you do for them. This is true at any age, and it is well to begin practicing it early. Seem to be a blundering but lovable idiot.

"I'm just all thumbs when it comes to tying ties. Will you help me, Miss Jones? Father says you're such a comfort in the office."

"I'd love to, Davie! Just jump up on my lap."

She may not be able to tie as n6at a knot as you can, but you will soon learn there is more in life than well-tied cravats.

BE DEMONSTRATIVE

Women like gestures of open affection. Approach the woman of your choice with a rash and fling your arms around her knees. This area, of course, will rise as you grow taller. Thus you will, in a sense, work your way up.

The cuddle or snuggle is effective, too. Land suddenly on the proper lap and hang on.

When you have reached the size at which it is debata­ble who should get on whose lap, you have gone beyond the bounds of this chapter.

BE A BONE OF CONTENTION

Women are always competing with each other. Use this to your advantage. It is never too early to begin.

Valuable as it is to put your arms around a woman, it is twice as valuable if another woman is watching. Jealousy will begin to work in the neglected woman.

"Davie, come over here and see what I've got for you!"

She will have something interesting and it will differ as you grow older.

HOW TO HANDLE TEACHERS

Luckily for you, most elementary school teachers are women. You should be able to handle them just as easily as you do other women, and with the same methods.

Avoid the old clichés. For example, bringing an apple to the teacher is bad. On the contrary:

"May I borrow your apple, Miss Brown?" "Oh, Davie, are you so hungry?" "Oh, no! We have plenty at home. Just felt a little weak."

(Always be brave.)

"You certainly may have my apple, Davie!"

Your object is not the apple. You may not even like apples. You are trying to win her friendship. She will soon forget the lad who brought the apple, but she will long remember the one who borrows it.

SPREAD HAPPINESS

Your little body will begin to grow, faster than you ex­pect. All the more reason why you should use these golden years wisely, giving yourself a firm foundation on which to build your life.

If you forget everything else, remember this: all older women are hungry for love and affection. Give it to them. It is your duty to spread sunshine.

Spread it—in fact, spread it thickly. There will always be enough to go around.

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