Foreword - The author realizes that this book could be dangerous if it fell into the wrong hands. It should be used only by those who bring with them a good, serviceable set of morals.

We cannot pretend to supply you with character. Yon must bring that with you. This book will show you how to use it.

It is intended solely to save you, the human male, from the many pitfalls, mental, physical, and sexual that lie in your path, and to save you from yourself, too.

01. Sorry Plight - Let us assume you have come bouncing into the world, a brand new human male, complete with all your equip­ment.

It may seem, even to the casual observer, that you are well fitted out, and that you have obvious attributes that your sister does not.

Chances are, too, that you will be larger and heavier, which may lead you to believe that you are also stronger and more durable.

This, unfortunately, is not the case.

02. Your Mother - In your very cradle you will be told that there is noth­ing like a mother, and of course this is true.

Your mother will be, in a sense, your first training ground. She will be your first contact with the female sex. Study her carefully. The lad who learns early how to get around his mother has made a fine start.

03. Short Pants - You may feel, once you have properly trained your mother, that you have no further need to worry about the female world. Unfortunately this is not true.

However, for the next ten years or so, girls of your own age should be completely beneath your notice.

True, your first sight of the schoolyard, filled with laughing girls, will terrify you. This feeling will last for several years—unless you remember this simple fact: males are afraid of females only at the time when females can do them no damage whatever, which is when the males are in short pants.

04. Sap of Manhood - When, indeed, so many ask, does the powerful sap of man­hood begin to surge through my body? What can I do to prepare myself for it?

First you will go through a period which may seem long, but which will actually last no more than ten or twelve years. During this time you will think you are a man. Your body will develop in every way and you will become possessed of powerful and, at first, unusual ideas.

05. Hasty Marriage - At last you will be free of home and parents, free to set your own course. From now on you are your own master, making your own rules. Make them well. On your decisions will rest the happiness of so many.

Yes, by all means. Marriage is a fine thing and should cer­tainly be tried, at least, by all males.

The wise young man, however, does not rush into mar­riage. Temptations will be on all sides. As soon as you are eligible, girls will know it. When asked how, scientists throw up their hands.

06. Well-Rounded - The girl of your choice will want to be proud of you. Make it easy for her.

You may say, after thinking of yourself for a moment, that it is impossible for her not to be proud of you. Do not be deceived. Few women have your own keen judg­ment of character, few will realize that you are as good as you really are. You will have to help them.

07. Why Marry? - You may now ask the question which is on every lip: "Why marry?"

The reasons are countless. Not every reason, however, would suit you.

Perhaps we should thumb through a working check list. Write down any reasons that appeal to you.

There is no question that marriage can give a man greater creature comforts. The familiar picture of the devoted wife, the pipe and slippers, and the tender loving care is all too true in many cases, and can last for months.

08. Select First Wife - If you are still with us we will assume you have decided to get married. Your problem, then, will be to select your first wife, and to marry her quickly, since she will not have the qualities that make for a suitable fiancee.

Before we list the qualities to look for, we had best answer another frequent question:

We must all face this question squarely.

09. Train First Wife - Let us assume you have found the ideal girl, or at least one as close to specifications as was available.

You are about to embark on the first happy voyage of your married life. Young, star-eyed and full of love you set sail on what must surely be a sea of bliss.

Once married you begin the careless, rapturous days of Just You Two, before you settle down to the serious busi­ness of raising a family. Enjoy these blissful days because they will never return.

10. Wife in Love - It is annoying to spend long months training a wife only to have her leave you for another.

You may believe that any sensible woman would want to stay with you for her own good. This is not always the case. Women are creatures of emotion, seldom making their decisions as we men do, on the basis of reason and logic.

Remember, too, that the wife who loves you is harder working,   more efficient, and  more cheerful.

11. Dream House - Every marriage must have a home. A marriage without walls around it is a flimsy thing indeed. You will need a cozy nook for just you two. This should include a kitchen, bathroom, and at least one room for living and sleeping.

Choose a good, well-kept apartment building and you will find they have all these rooms and as many others as you need or can afford.

12. Handle Money - The two major causes of unhappiness in marriage are sex and money.

Sex will no longer be a problem to those who follow carefully the rules in our earlier chapters. And luckily, money problems can be solved just as easily. Learn these simple directions and you will laugh at money worries.

Many men ask us: "Should I handle the money in our home?" It is not a question that can be answered with a simple yes or no.

13. Save Money - The far-seeing husband knows how important it is for his wife to be well-groomed at all times. The sloppy, poor­ly dressed wife creates a bad impression everywhere, and can even be harmful to a man's standing in the commu­nity, and in his business relations.

Remember that a dollar spent to make your wife lovely is a dollar invested not only in her future, but in your own.

14. Select Second Wife - Men ask, "Should I replace my wife?" This is a callous attitude and one with which we have little sympathy.

A wife is not like an automobile, traded in yearly as later models appear. True, with cars a new bit of grill-work or a change in fender line can drive you quickly to the showrooms lest you become a laughing stock in the neighborhood. But luckily the models in women are rarely improved. The changes in so-called "fender-lines" are slight, the chassis design remains almost constant, and mechanical improvements are conspicuous by their ab­sence. With reasonable care a wife should last for years and years

15. Conceiving - So many ask, "Should I adopt a child?" The answer is clear: no, not if you can have one of your own. By all means try first. Conceiving can be fun, and is undertaken by many for its own sake.

A word of warning, however; though you will run few risks during conception, you will enter rapidly into the period of pregnancy, which is fraught with danger.

16. Your Baby - In a few days the baby will come home from the hospital. What a different place your house will be when it contains a little one! It will be a new and unusual experience for everyone.

Get acquainted. The bashful or timid father will miss many happy hours with his children. Get to know your baby, and the sooner the better.

You will find there is a Golden Time, a ten minute period following each bath during which your baby will smell fresh and clean.

17. Women in Business - Is it true, as so many say, that woman's place is in the home? The answer is a clear "No!"

A woman's place is in her place, and this is true both at home (as we have seen) and in the office.

Friction has been caused recently only because women in business have on occasion stepped out of their places. This has caused untold confusion and mental anguish.

About The Author - No one need he told of Shepherd Mead's meteoric rise to the vice-presidency of a large New York corporation, his retire­ment at an early age to a life of ease and luxury, or of his un­challenged position in American Letters. Many, indeed, are the readers who owe their present affluence to his How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying—a book that has brought easy riches to thousands and has been translated into Broad­way's Greatest Musical Hit.

THE END